23 Sep Why Hold Back on Yourself? You’re Unlimited!!
The deep work of the subconscious is not for everyone. But if you’re a growth-oriented person, you’d like to influence others in a positive and profound way, and you feel the angst of sometimes getting blind-sided by your own old patterns, it is definitely for you.
If you live your life without examination of your subconscious, you miss the opportunity to overturn self-destructive beliefs, patterns and habits that got stored there as you developed. Until around age 10 (for some earlier, for some later), your brain waves were moving very slowly, and your subconscious was absorbing the attitudes, beliefs and experiences that were presented to you by your parents, teachers and siblings. Without abstract thinking, you were not able to discern which of these would support you emotionally, and which could be damaging.
The early life patterns around you then become automatic functions much like the subconscious survival functions that keep your heart beating, your lungs filling with oxygen and your gut digesting your food. These are all occurring all the time, regardless of your thoughts about them. To understand the value of the deep work of the subconscious, you need to understand what emotional patterns impact you all the time, again regardless of whether or not you are aware of them.
And, by the way, subconscious emotional patterns are not all bad. In addition to the self-destructive programs (such as a low self-worth, a poverty consciousness, or any other limiting belief), we store our patterns of love, connection, acceptance and forgiveness in the same way. The trouble is, each of us are left to the care of those who raise and educate us, and typically, though I believe they often did the best they could, they passed on some unsupportive beliefs and patterns.
I see these patterns in my work with clients all the time, and I’ve become quite familiar with them. One of the most common is a pattern of holding back professionally on some level. It plays out like this.
You’re a smart, hard-working, talented giver. You focus on a goal, perhaps a promotion, a speaking opportunity, the creation of a new program. Just when it comes time to engage that next level of expression, something happens. You might get sick. You might freeze in your speaking audition. You might celebrate a little too early and show up with a hangover. Or, you might decide you don’t actually have anything valuable to say or offer, and convince yourself to withdraw completely. You might wake up in the middle of the night, the night before the big opportunity, with a panic attack.
Have you ever experienced anything like this? So why do we do it?
To answer the mystery of any subconscious pattern, we have to ask the questions about where we are versus where we want to be. You are laying in bed curled in a ball crying but you actually want to be getting ready for my opportunity, calm, quiet and confident. Why the discrepancy? Perhaps in your youth someone told you that you’re better seen than heard. Maybe someone said you wouldn’t amount to much or you weren’t very smart. Or perhaps one of your caretakers simply had a negative attitude about people with “big heads” who thought they were better than others.
On a more intense level, if you were abused in childhood, there is probably a deeper pattern about safety. To be successful means to be seen. In your subconscious mind, being seen is equated with being hurt or abused. Who would risk an opportunity for THAT outcome? Without a conscious awareness of these embedded beliefs, you are actually nearly powerless to overcome the emotional sabotage from your subconscious.
This is just one example of a subconscious pattern that can hold you back. There are many related to money, relationships, intelligence, physical appearance, religion or worth to name a few. The truth is, there are as many unique patterns as there are family systems in the world. We all have them. Typically, the self-sabotaging patterns are in place as a protective mechanism that you may have needed as a child in order to fit in to the family system and have your needs met. Most often, as an adult, you can lose the program and replace it with a more supportive one.
This requires work in the subconscious which can be reached through meditation, daydreaming, hypnosis, trance and in your dreams at night. Therapeutic techniques such as EMDR, Emotional Freedom Technique, Cranio-Sacral work and Biofeedback are other methods that have been successful at engaging the subconscious for healing purposes. If you have questions about your own subconscious patterns, I’m happy to chat with you about what I’ve learned and offer you some feedback to get you started on the path to conscious reprogramming.