I was recently asked by my own therapist what it is that I do to lift people up in my practice during these times. I was immediately taken back to a dream I had recently that revealed my answer to this question.
The dream. I get on the elevator of a 4 story building. As I’m riding the elevator I realize that it not only goes to the top of the building, it also goes sideways on the various floors. I’m marveling at this new way of traveling through the building and I’m eager to explore the sideways elements of this particular elevator.
I’ve had several dreams in elevators throughout the years, and they always seem to speak to me of stages of conscious development.
This dream is particularly interesting to me, because it illuminates the excitement of developing sideways in addition to upwards. My intuition tells me that if I want to truly lift myself and others in a meaningful way, it is important to explore the gifts of sideways expansion along the way.
In our current culture, there is a fight to be on top. And I think that the majority of us see our opportunities for expansion from this unilateral perspective. There is a deeply imbedded subconscious belief system that tells us we must grow, achieve and set goals in a very masculine way.
I’ve seen many women become modern-day warriors, hunters and adventurers in our efforts to fit ourselves neatly inside the trap we are bound to. Not that these pursuits are wrong, but I mourn that we’ve let go of some of our deeply feminine ways of being in order to compete. Men suffer from this too.
This dream comforts me with it’s invitation to travel sideways. It is in these new, unexpected directions that I find the true ability to lift myself and others. These are the scenic routes, the detours from demand and expectation that are full of wonder, awe and a deep reverence for all things feminine. These include intuition, creativity, healing, nurturing and connection. A deep yearning for beauty and expression. Care and love for the world and its life. Dreaming.
Detours of intuition have connected me with the right healers, the right career, the right partners and countless experiences of the right time, right place. My creativity is a constant journey. When I woke up this morning, I would never have guessed I’d be writing about elevators and sideways consciousness. But here I am on a beautiful detour exploring a concept new to me in words but ancient in practice.
Our healing industry has also unfortunately become a race to the top. In my community of therapists, I’m baffled when I hear that the norm is to see 27+ clients a week. I wonder if there is any room to explore sideways with these clients. Doctors may see 27 patients in a DAY and I know there’s no time to explore in that schedule. We medicate nearly every symptom, and we medicate the side effects from medication. While medication may be a wonderful step in the right direction, medicating by itself is not healing.
Revisiting the home with a client where she was molested as a child so that she can reclaim the power that was diminished there is healing. Taking the time to help a client stumble through a room of consciousness where the lights have gone out is healing. Helping to be sure a client didn’t leave herself out of her equation when she chose her life is healing. And while none of these things feels or looks like a lift or even an achievement while in process, I guarantee the result of going on these sideways detours in healing always produces a lift.
Clearly, nurturing has been left out of success in most of the world. You don’t need me to explain that to you if you’ve been paying attention. Unfortunately, we’ve diverted our dominant consciousness from this life giving quality, and we see the devastating impact around us every day. And yet, there are plenty of people exploring sideways to build communities, to feed their hungry neighbors and to lend a loving hand when needed. This is what healed people do.
Care and love for the world and life facilitates a deep sense of joy, gratitude and one-ness. Simply appreciating and tending to the earth can decrease depressive symptoms, calm brain waves and reduce stress in the body by up to 50%. So too, does owning a pet (or being owned by one). If you’ve been a gardener or an animal lover, you know that the journey expands on all sides of you. These relationships are deep and expansive, slow and steady. These relationships will lift you up without you having to go anywhere.
And dreaming, what to say about that? It’s sad but unfortunately true that many of us have no relationship to our dreams at all. Our dreams hold the deepest and truest parts of ourselves. Dreams identify our wounds, heal them, and then provide direction for a fulfilling experience on earth. Dreaming connects each of us to our own inner healer, creator and wise one. A strong relationship to dreaming is more powerful than any medicine, therapist or coach.
If we all began the expansion that is the gift of dreaming, I’m certain we would change the world. It’s unfortunate that so many systems actively work to shut us off from our dreams, and many of us continue to live the dreams that come from outside of us, trying to fit ourselves into a cage that is likely too small. This is why so many live with an empty feeling. So many have a nagging or powerful sense that something isn’t quite right with their lives, but can’t put a finger on what it is or how to change it.
So, how do I lift people up? I might suggest that I’m not trying to lift them up at all. Instead I invite the sideways exploration of who they’ve always been. I walk with people on the quest to find their greatest gifts and develop them. I love to get lost together on the detours of healing, creativity and expression. And then one day, we wake up and realize we’ve been lifted by our very commitment to who we are.
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